they say that songwriting can be a catharsis. a release... i'm not sure that i've ever felt that so much in my entire time recording and writing until now. i've for sure had moments of it but sonically and lyrically i just felt it so much with this album. as a whole, i'm so proud of it. i think it covers all areas of my life. i think it's honest and inspired. i think it's written for me, by me.... it is the story of where i am and who i am now and how i got here and where i want to be. a decision to be free from where i've been. to be myself and write and sing and record what I FEEL and not what others want to hear... unless they're with me. unless they can feel it too, then i'm glad to be singing along....
"SAY WHATEVER"
- this song came late in the process of making this record. i was making a list of very simple things that i enjoy which essentially make me me. reasons why i wanted to free. it ended up a bit defiant. a bit of an anthem for this record which is why it starts the record off. an ode to me, and those of us who often have to fight for our place on this earth. musically, the song has been through a lot of changes. a song written as a dance tune that really just wanted to be played at a piano bar late in the night when drinks are flowing and bodys are swaying back and forth singing along. and no truer words have completed one of my songs than 'i will always love new york.'
"I FELL IN LOVE (NEW YORK)"
- continuing my attraction to new york and piano players, this song is just fun. i think it's a bit sexy which is something along with so many other things in my life i am embracing and allowing. a very new sound for me, as easy going as it all sounds. it was a little frightening to record. the song, once again has changed very much from it's earlier versions... things become what they were born to be, for sure.
"TWO BLACK RINGS"
- this one is about my failed engagement. it was all so big and amazing when it happened and so confusing and sad how quickly everything changed. the song is about learning how to ask for help and take the time you need to heal. the record was going to be originally called 'broken down things.'
"BETTER DREAMS"
- another song which came late in the process of creating this record, 'better dreams' is built on the chorus of an old song i'd written but never recorded. it's about changing perspective. being ok because you believe you're ok. this one picks up the pace and comforts the other pieces of me on the record that need a ring leader.
"RESCUE BOATS"
- this one is about believing in the light at the end of the tunnel. finding strength in the greater picture rather than being lost and hysterical in a moment. help is on the way. i love this song.
"FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE"
- the last song written for this record. a couple too many vodka drinks and whoops - out pops this ditty which was a bit more angry when i wrote it then how it turns out here. it's about that unfortunate truth that shit happens... we can dance and sing about it though. so, that's whats up.
"FREE BEFORE I DIE"
- somewhere i will always be in a piano bar in new york city with frost on the window and cigarettes burning in an ashtray singing this song... on the most beautiful night on this most beautiful planet. this is my song. maybe my favorite of any song i've ever written and recorded. if i have a funeral, perhaps this song should be playing.
"BEING WRONG"
- recorded in one take and almost discarded because it was so real to me. something beautiful about how scary this song is. raw, pleading and deep breaths. the ultimate in heartache is removing yourself. we do what we have to do.
"I CALL YOUR NAME"
- wrote this for my mother. one of the first songs written for the record. it's honest and i kept the production very minimal. it has what feels like religious undertones to it. it's an important song in my catalog and i love it. has some for real dark thought processing weaved through it and it is looking for and finding hope.
"FLORIDA"
- a free flowing melody and songwriting that came from incense and pen and paper in my bedroom late at night in a safe place thinking about a place that didn't feel safe at all. feels like looking back and overcoming.
"ON AND ON"
- in the same way that "Say Whatever" was written as a dance song, so was this song. Infact it was even recorded that way and the vocal and effects are kept from the original version. i think it adds a very haunting effect to this piano ballad that adds to the unique and cool sound of it. it sounds like being left in a dark room alone still in love with someone who is not still in love with you, who is infact not even there anymore. you are alone. must. find. door. it is time to move on.
"A HEART LETTING GO"
- so, the last record had just been released and i wasn't really relating to it. it was fun for sure but it didn't feel like me saying what i wanted to say. it's cool to have a good time and all, but i was in a different space in my head. this song is the first song i recorded for this record and is exactly how i felt when i was listening to "electricalifornia" after it's release. i felt alone and strong. i felt like beginning. like a baby. not accomplished like 'electricalifornia' was saying.
"WHY WAIT FOR A PIRATE"
- wrote this during the pen and paper sessions... candles and incense and i was thinking about the widow's watches on top of the houses back in portland, maine. i let my mind run and wrote a story about one of those women up there and were they always sad if the man did NOT come home. or were they relieved? the vocal is the first take with no effects on it. a raw and dark song about what we sometimes do to ourselves.
"FREE FALLING"
- as i was recording this record, i recorded this tom petty cover which seemed to resonate with me as i was allowing myself to feel and write exactly how i felt. to sing how i felt like singing. to not care if i failed... to just do what i felt i had to do... to just be myself. no pleasing... just falling free... and it feels SO damn good.
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